In Memoriam

This is a poem I believe I wrote a year after 9/11, so the memories were still pretty raw. I've tweaked it a little since, but it's mostly the same. The reference to my birthday is the one on the Hebrew calendar.

I

Another night
another morning

I rise to the
communal bathroom
and hear strange
whisperings
about a plane.
As I wash my
hands they tell me,
but I don't believe,
can't believe,
so unreal
it's just another morning
but then I realize
not any morning-
my birthday,
the day G-d decided
of all days
I should join this
confusing universe.
In disbelief I lie
back in bed,
but my eyes
wide open.

I still remember the smoke.
Walking to class, like a fool,
it was there,
huge billows in the sky
menacing, monstrous
thick and black
polluting my lungs,
my spirit,
then walking back
like a punch in the stomach
reality crashes
visions start;
fire, chaos
people jumping,
thousands of people
like me
like you
beautiful people
with sparks of
G-d within,
chapters of their life
to live,
I begin
running, running
crying, crying
across Manhattan's
ghostly streets,
white with ash
what's real
what's false
I don't know
I don't know

II

Seasons have passed,
the leaves turned again
to red and gold
and fell away.

Unlike nature
we are changed,
pained with memory,
uncertainty,
yet we move on,
our heart
mending
day by day
day by day
but a piece
forever lost
in smoke.

As we're approaching Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year), let me wish everyone a sweet year of health, happiness and peace. May the world never know such tragedy again.