Forever Enchanted

A blog by Kayla - dreamer, writer, wannabe novelist

Thursday, May 18, 2006

It's about that time again

For another Enchantia post, of course. I've pushed it off about as long as I could, but I guess I must get back to being a serious writer. Or at least a wannabe novelist. This snippet comes shortly after the scene from this old post:

I walked over to her by the bonfire. She grabbed my left hand and sprinkled it with dust, then raised it up high, pointing a leaf at me with her other hand, and began singing in a solemn sort of chant:

Power of earth and sky
lo la lo lum
Guild Natura
lo la lo lum
Mialee asks you to turn my friend
lo la lo lum
Into a sorceress!
A sorceress!
A sorceress!

Goosebumps spread to every corner of my body as she said those words, and for a moment my whole body shook. My life was changing, I felt it in my bones. Though how was like trying to see through the bonfire's smoke.
I couldn't get too lost in thought- the ceremony wasn't over. Mialee threw a bunch of twigs, grass and stones into the fire, and the flames rose up.
“You've been accepted!” she said, smiling excitedly. “You're now an Enchantian sorceress of Guild Natura! So what's your Enchantian name?”
I still didn't know. But one glance at my new robe and I had it.
“Butterfly,” I said, and forced myself to hold back a tear. Finally, after all the years of feeling as low as the fallen leaves at my feet, I was going to soar.

2 Comments:

At 12:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i actually meant to elaborate my thoughts before you posted but clearly that didn't happen. anyway, here goes: it is a little 'gooey' (not cheesy) but not in a bad way. rather, i feel it empasizes jane's desire of wanting to be a part of this world, this magical place that is an escape from her everyday. we, the readers, want to feel her excitement, fear, and all other emotions that are running through her. i think you've done a great job of transferring said emotions onto the page. cause you know when you wrote it, you had those goosebumps as well.

what i mean to say is, it's a great snippet. and definitely one of my favorite parts of the story.

 
At 6:54 PM, Blogger Kayla said...

Wow, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, Devora. I'm glad it's not gooey in a bad way! I love working on this book but it's not easy (as you know all too well). It's nice to know when I've done something that works.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

Top Literature blogs